I have always been fighting with myself. Self-doubt, depression, and high expectations; that’s a deadly combination for someone like me. However, in the last decade, I have changed a lot. Perhaps it’s age and the realization that people don’t really care about you. Everyone has their own demons to worry about it.
The majority of people are thinking mostly about themselves. Most people are living their own reality, and they see life through their own experiences, and most are as fucked up as I am. When I realized it, I became liberated from the opinions of others. (If I am totally honest, the writing was a catalyst for me.)
I am not a machine. Of course, there are days when a dark cloud is taking over, but I have accepted this as my second nature; a part of me that never goes away.
I just let it flow through me, and I let time to do its work.
This is working for me, but I wouldn’t recommend it for you, unless you really know yourself and how you will react when the dark cloud arrives. Unfortunately, most people can’t handle it because of a lack of experience.
That sounds arrogant.
Let me explain.
I am not a young man anymore, and I have tried and failed more than most people I know. The difference is that most people will quit after a few setbacks. I haven’t, and that has forced me to work with my own demons.
And I am still working.